Some years
ago my heart was broken into a thousand little pieces that formed the basis for
a million and one regrets. After the break I was afraid of being vulnerable. I
didn’t want to get hurt again or make someone else pay for the sins of my ex.
Yes I dated but it was always casual. I’d start getting close to someone and
then find a way to sabotage it. It wasn’t easy to move so I can relate to people who feel stuck and can't let go. You
see…you realize that soon after it ends—that you have spent so much time and
energy expecting someone else to love you. I found a way out and it begins with
you loving yourself. So If you’ve been holding onto an old relationship and you
want to move on, now is the perfect time to let go. It’s a brand new year.
Here’s how you can start moving on:
1.
Acceptance: It’s the
acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had. It’s being thankful
for the possibilities that lie ahead. By accepting you are embracing life’s
changes and letting go.to realize that every experience has value and to keep
taking positive steps forward.
2.
Dwelling on and on: When a
relationship ends, you dwell on what you did wrong or what you could have done
differently. You wish you could turn back time and somehow change things but
you can’t. You can only learn from it for future relationships but other than
that its plain suffering. Find little things to gain in every moment instead of
dwelling on what you have lost Just like a clock, life only moves in one
direction and that is forward.
3. Forgive
yourself : You think
you made the biggest mistake of your life? You are only human. You’re entitled
to make mistakes; everyone does. In
other to move on you need to feel love toward yourself; and that means
forgiving yourself. Stop being sad, depressed or a guilt-ridden person
clutching to what once was. If you can’t remember who you are, get to know
yourself now.
3. Distance: .Sometimes you just need take a break to gain
clarity on a situation and keep your mind busy on something else. I advise
travelling that way when you return you see things with new set of eyes.
Returning where you left off is entirely different than never leaving at all.
4. Don’t think about any time as lost: If you’re regretting every moment
and seeing it as time lost, you’re underestimate all the amazing things that
you did in that same time [everything you gain]. True, I was single throughout
a period, but that made it easier to travel and devote myself to different
passions.
5. Focus
your energy: Stop clinging
to the past and wasting all that energy on tears, shift the focus in building a
better you and pay more attention to your career. Don’t waste energy worrying
about the things you cant change rather focus on what you can. Whatever
happened in the past, it prepared you for now.
6. The benefits of moving on: While letting go opens you to new
possibilities, holding on is torturous. You regret, you feel and sad guilty,
you become obsess—it’s all an exercise in suffering. The only way to find peace
is to quiet the thoughts that threaten it instead of feeding pain.
7. Recognizing fear and taking control: “I’ll never feel or find
loved again”,” I’ll always feel lonely and lost”, “I am completely powerless
and incomplete”. Now replace those thoughts because you can. The
truth is you can’t always control what happens to you but you can control how
you respond to it. It’s really up to you to move on.
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