Monday, January 6, 2014

Stuck! I wanna move on.



Some years ago my heart was broken into a thousand little pieces that formed the basis for a million and one regrets. After the break I was afraid of being vulnerable. I didn’t want to get hurt again or make someone else pay for the sins of my ex. Yes I dated but it was always casual. I’d start getting close to someone and then find a way to sabotage it. It wasn’t easy to move so I can relate to people who feel stuck and can't let go. You see…you realize that soon after it ends—that you have spent so much time and energy expecting someone else to love you. I found a way out and it begins with you loving yourself. So If you’ve been holding onto an old relationship and you want to move on, now is the perfect time to let go. It’s a brand new year. Here’s how you can start moving on:
1. Acceptance: It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had. It’s being thankful for the possibilities that lie ahead. By accepting you are embracing life’s changes and letting go.to realize that every experience has value and to keep taking positive steps forward.
2. Dwelling on and on: When a relationship ends, you dwell on what you did wrong or what you could have done differently. You wish you could turn back time and somehow change things but you can’t. You can only learn from it for future relationships but other than that its plain suffering. Find little things to gain in every moment instead of dwelling on what you have lost Just like a clock, life only moves in one direction and that is forward.
3. Forgive yourself : You think you made the biggest mistake of your life? You are only human. You’re entitled to make mistakes; everyone does.  In other to move on you need to feel love toward yourself; and that means forgiving yourself. Stop being sad, depressed or a guilt-ridden person clutching to what once was. If you can’t remember who you are, get to know yourself now.
3. Distance: .Sometimes you just need take a break to gain clarity on a situation and keep your mind busy on something else. I advise travelling that way when you return you see things with new set of eyes. Returning where you left off is entirely different than never leaving at all.
4. Don’t think about any time as lost: If you’re regretting every moment and seeing it as time lost, you’re underestimate all the amazing things that you did in that same time [everything you gain]. True, I was single throughout a period, but that made it easier to travel and devote myself to different passions.
5. Focus your energy: Stop clinging to the past and wasting all that energy on tears, shift the focus in building a better you and pay more attention to your career. Don’t waste energy worrying about the things you cant change rather focus on what you can. Whatever happened in the past, it prepared you for now.
6. The benefits of moving on: While letting go opens you to new possibilities, holding on is torturous. You regret, you feel and sad guilty, you become obsess—it’s all an exercise in suffering. The only way to find peace is to quiet the thoughts that threaten it instead of feeding pain.
7. Recognizing fear and taking control:I’ll never feel or find loved again”,” I’ll always feel lonely and lost”, “I am completely powerless and incomplete”. Now replace those thoughts because you can. The truth is you can’t always control what happens to you but you can control how you respond to it. It’s really up to you to move on.

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