Tuesday, January 21, 2014

a ménage à trois



 Three-some... The intimate expression of love or an adventure with unknown consequences?
 I was having dinner the other night, when I overheard some dudes talking about three some, I momentarily forgot about my dinner companions, for the subject was far more juicy for me to tune out. Typically, I'm not an eavesdropper. But as someone who specializes in relationship issues, I hear the word "three-some" and the neurons in my brain start firing like it's the Fourth of July. I remember one of the guys asking if a relationship can survive a threesome. Now that got me thinking. It’s a known fact that most guys have fantasies of being with more than one woman and for me, I think the three some act is a way to test our power and our limits in relationships. Why aren’t women easily down for the three some act? Women are really emotional, we fight it and sometimes we overcome it and block any form of emotions but we are still women. A threesome has the potential to toy with a woman’s emotion; while it can be a fabulous experience [especially for the men], it’s important to tread carefully. Guys are more easily aroused by body parts, whereas women more often need a deep connection to get into sex. Between the distraction of another person, the worries, and the fact that this is just sex and not connection, it might turn out to be as much fun for the babe. For men It’s exciting. It’s being a sexual glutton and men want it for the same reason women want two pieces of chocolate more than they want one. He can be entirely be satisfied and still like the idea of a threesome because it's so exciting and the thoughts are calling. Women may be more likely to agree to a three-way out of pressure or wanting to please their partners without really being into it. And whether or not pressure is involved, if a woman is having a three-way with another woman she is likely to be more distracted by worries about the other woman than having an erotic experience. Thoughts of  how pretty is this other woman compared to me? How much attention is “she” getting compared to me? What does it mean about how he feels about the relationship?e.t.c will start to bug her. If you must go into a three some to spice your relationship,you need to have a level of trust with your partner, a level of intimacy and a strong desire and conviction that you are with the right person because threesomes can confuse you with respect to the role of sex in a relationship.
Shes not gettin it,why?I think it also depends on the rules laid out form the very beginning. If you enter into a strictly monogamous relationship it may be hard for it to survive a threesome as it directly conflicts with the original ideas and agreements set out in the beginning. 

ADVISE for women; no matter how much of a sex goddess you are, that will always be his fantasy. I wouldn't get too hung up on it though. All the poor guy did was ask if you'd consider it. It's not like he pressured you or even told you that he wants to do it (which, by the way, he probably does). He just put it out there casually to gauge your interest. And now that he knows you'd rather have a full-body wax than see him fondle another woman’s breasts, he'll probably never broach the subject again. Cut him some slack. 
ADVISE for men ; If you want a threesome like those you see in porn you’ll probably have to do what they do in porn: pay a couple of women to act like they’re loving it. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with the act itself, nor do I think it’s necessarily “just about the sex”, people have been doing it with different degrees of success for a long time. Like with anything it’s all about communication, negotiation and honesty. If someone needs to be pressured it’s definitely not a good idea. So don’t pressure.



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