Three-some... The intimate expression of love or an adventure with
unknown consequences?
I was having
dinner the other night, when I overheard
some dudes talking about three some, I momentarily forgot about my dinner
companions, for the subject was far more juicy for me to tune out. Typically, I'm
not an eavesdropper. But as someone who specializes in relationship issues, I
hear the word "three-some" and the neurons in my brain start firing
like it's the Fourth of July. I remember one of the guys asking if a
relationship can survive a threesome. Now that got me thinking. It’s a known
fact that most guys have fantasies of being with more than one woman and for me,
I think the three some act is a way to test our power and our limits in
relationships. Why aren’t women easily down for the three some act? Women are
really emotional, we fight it and sometimes we overcome it and block any form
of emotions but we are still women. A threesome has the potential to toy with a
woman’s emotion; while it can be a fabulous experience [especially for the men],
it’s important to tread carefully. Guys are more easily aroused by body parts,
whereas women more often need a deep connection to get into sex. Between the
distraction of another person, the worries, and the fact that this is just sex
and not connection, it might turn out to be as much fun for the babe. For men It’s
exciting. It’s being a sexual glutton and men want it for the same reason women
want two pieces of chocolate more than they want one. He can be entirely be
satisfied and still like the idea of a threesome because it's so exciting and the thoughts are calling. Women
may be more likely to agree to a three-way out of pressure or wanting to please
their partners without really being into it. And whether or not pressure is
involved, if a woman is having a three-way with another woman she is likely to
be more distracted by worries about the other woman than having an erotic
experience. Thoughts of how pretty is
this other woman compared to me? How much attention is “she” getting compared
to me? What does it mean about how he feels about the relationship?e.t.c will
start to bug her. If you must go into a three some to spice your relationship,you need to have a level of trust with your partner, a level of intimacy and a
strong desire and conviction that you are with the right person because
threesomes can confuse you with respect to the role of sex in a relationship.
Shes not gettin it,why?I think it also depends on the rules laid out form the very beginning. If
you enter into a strictly monogamous relationship it may be hard for it to
survive a threesome as it directly conflicts with the original ideas and
agreements set out in the beginning.
ADVISE for women; no
matter how much of a sex goddess you are, that will always be his fantasy. I
wouldn't get too hung up on it though. All the poor guy did was ask if you'd
consider it. It's not like he pressured you or even told you that he wants to
do it (which, by the way, he probably does). He just put it out there casually
to gauge your interest. And now that he knows you'd rather have a full-body wax
than see him fondle another woman’s breasts, he'll probably never broach the
subject again. Cut him some slack.
ADVISE for men ; If you
want a threesome like those you see in porn you’ll probably have to do what
they do in porn: pay a couple of women to act like they’re loving it. I don’t
think there’s anything inherently wrong with the act itself, nor do I think
it’s necessarily “just about the sex”, people have been doing it with different
degrees of success for a long time. Like with anything it’s all about
communication, negotiation and honesty. If someone needs to be pressured it’s
definitely not a good idea. So don’t pressure.
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