its Friday the beginning of a great weekend,So today be confident. Work the room as soon as you walk into anywhere, be it a wedding,house party,dinner or just movies and be sure to smile.
 when you seat and a guy walks up to you and you're interested...while talking,Laugh to show your sense of humor. Men love women who laugh at their jokes and who get their sense of humor. Show them that you know how to have fun, and that you don't take yourself or life too seriously.
 Challenge him intellectually. If you disagree with something that he says or does, let him know. Men like to know that there is something behind that pretty face, and they do not like women who act like doormats.

Read his body language...

Tips For Men

Sigmund Freud famously asked the question what do women want? Till date it still remains the unanswered question across the globe. Well based on my researched i guess i can write a few points about what women want.It should come as no surprise that the list is longer than tips for women.
#She wants a superhero to save the day. Women love to be protected. Women are always in awe of men who can step up in times of conflicts, so be sure you grab every opportunity that situation might throw at you. 
#Pay more attention. If you and your partners don't have daily interactions already, it's time to change that . Start off small. "Text her a compliment or call her from time to time. we have the advantage of technology so you can be far but very close.{ Skype , bbm or Google Hangout, etc}
#one can lure a woman mainly by just smelling good.I particularly love perfumes. if it's your first date, it's best not to try anything experimental. Know what smells best on you. choose a 
perfume that suits you.
#Confidence is an attitude that says your comfortable with who you are. women look for clues to a man’s level of confidence. The attitude of confidence doesn’t even have to be constant, just generally present in the face of most life challenges.
#women love when a man can satisfy. you should know that female sexuality is the desire to be desired. Be her man...we wouldn't want her to wonder off. after all one mans trash is another mans treasure. Nothing like having great sex with someone you love.
#its really no secret that woman want a man who takes care of himself. girls go ga ga over men with a well-toned body. So guys get into the habit of regular workout so you can make heads turn!
#women don't plan to nag, they just expect that their man be there at the right time and understand things they ought to. I would say may be its because its a known fact that women grow faster then men. she basically just wants someone she can count on and call her own. 
#She wants a confident man not a coward who runs away from responsibilities.Confidence is the willingness to face important struggles, it is still the ultimate key to a woman’s respect. 
#Women simply love surprises. valentine is a prefect excuse to be showered with gifts. it could be chocolates and teddy's or even a bouquet of fresh roses. Women don't mind them in any number. if you get it all right You are sure to score extra points. 
#Above all, woman want transparency meaning you never lie to her if you are thinking of a long-term relationship. if along the line you did and got caught in web of lies, try winning back her trust. 
#Nothing turns off most women than a poorly-dressed man. My advise guys is that you do a style-check, spot. the trends in fashion, speak to a stylist to find out what looks best on you. Clothes makes a man literally!
#Women want you to appreciate her efforts. Tell her you appreciate what she does and you really are lost with out her. If married appreciate her for things like taking good care of the kids and their affairs; her running the household. Be honest & swallow that pride. Keep the romance candle burning,nothing wrong with giving her some TLC.w
#Women are bi-programmed to want relationships, not sex; that they need a stable, intimate relationship to feel aroused and are therefore built for sexual monogamy{marriage}.
You want to understand why she wont just give it up. Medically, women are at higher risk than men for sexual violence and sexually transmitted diseases, not to mention the unique risk of pregnancy.The odds of enjoying casual and anonymous sex are lower for women. Thus, a woman who wants to increase her chances of enjoyment and minimize her chances of harm is better off getting to know her partner well before she gets to sex. 
#Respect her opinions, career choice, interests, friends, body and mind. You don't have to agree with all that she says or does, but try to honor her opinions as valuable contributions,Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

Tips For Women

What do men want from women?Most women have searched for this very answer.
Here are some tips you need to attracting a great man and building a satisfying relationship.
Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. they want self-sufficient, secure and confident women.
Men want a woman to choose them out of want(they want to be with them) rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity sometimes. They want a woman to be active and independent. Some men would rather her have her own friends and interests, however some mind her keeping friend, because this might seem like a distraction in the relationship.
On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.
Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they already are. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing. Men want a partner who can laugh at his jokes and who has courage and strength to stand by him. They want a woman who can see her part in the relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. 
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Some women think men do not need them, do not value their opinions, their support and their praises. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.
Lastly, Most men just want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner feel like everything he does is wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you. So ladies please be reminded of these tips as you cast your nets into the sea.
                                                                                                                         Good Luck

Change

Dear posh bloggers,
   What you and i want from a relationship in the early months of dating may be quite different from what we want after you have been together for some time.While we may work hard to get a relationship started and on the right track, we expect to cruise to the very end without hiccups .
   Change is inevitable, welcoming it as an opportunity to enhance the relationship is more fruitful than trying to keep it from happening. I strongly believe that respecting and valuing these changes is healthy for a relationship. Accept that there are some things about our partners that will not change over time,no matter how much we want them to . Unfortunately we may hold an unreality expectation that are partners are prefect. we forget that its the little things we do that keep the relationship satisfying. 

Accepting Your Partner

Dear posh bloggers,
 Accepting your partner for who they are is very important. be aware of what you and your partner want from the relationship before going deep into it. while having the talk, be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another. Now, it's very important that you keep in mind that your partner might not be able to meet all your needs.
please do not demand that your partner change to meet all your expectations, work on accepting and telling the difference between your ideal mate and the real person you are dating. 
 Acceptance is acknowledging reality as it is. To accept another means letting go of shoulds, expectations and judgments. Try and see things from the other persons point of view. Note that this doesn't mean that you must agree with one another all the time but rather that both of you can understand and respect each others differences and points of views.

Great Communication

Dear posh bloggers,
What is communication?According to the wikipedia. Communication is gotten from the Latin word commūnicāre, meaning "to share" it is the activity of conveying information through the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, visuals, signals, writing, or behavior. It is the meaningful exchange of information between two or more living creatures.



  Aren't we just lucky and to think there was a time when we couldnt express ourselves so much. Those who were deep in love found communication tasking but they pushed on by writing letters and doing what every it took to get their message of love across.
Then why do "we" ,who have more advantage with technology,vocabulary,music,taste and freedom of expression not take advantage of this gift of communciation and use it. There is so much "we" can do with great communication in our relationships.

Make It Stop!
If you’ve known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. However, your partner is not a mind reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to directly express your needs to avoid any confusion.

Each of us is a little different in how we best receive information. Some people might respond better to sight, sound, or touch. Your partner’s responses may be different from yours. For a relationship to work well, each person has to be receptive to sending and receiving nonverbal cues. Learning to understand this “body language” can help you better understand what your partner is trying to say.

 Sending the right body language is important. you could be sending  mixed messages. saying one thing and yet doing the other. You need to know how to give the right body language if you have to. one of the reasons couples argue, get frustrated and eventually tune each other out! is because their done trying to figure it. You should also know that active listening allows you to focus on what the other person is saying instead of considering what you are planning on saying next.

During or after a big fight you might try to talk, note that the fightfinger-pointing,Taking things personally,finding fault and needing to have the last word just doesnt work. Getting angry and shouting above your voice doesn't solve anything. So before you start, create a peaceful environment and set up the guidelines for communication to ensure smooth, respectful and authentic communication and listen to what you two have to say. admitting when you wrong is a great start. Avoid interrupting,finishing sentences and forgetting to pause. communciation is a two way street.


                                                                                                

I think shes cheating

Dear posh blogger,

 Don't delude yourself into thinking that your woman would never CHEAT and don't rush to judgment either; if she is guilty of committing any signs on the list below perhaps it's indicative that something is awry in the relationship. More importantly, don't let what may just be a bad case of JEALOUSY taint your perception of her. Reading her the wrong way or jumping to conclusions can permanently sever a relationship; get all the facts before you confront her. 

"We" becomes " I": One of the biggest signs she's cheating on you is her breaking away from your little two-person unit to become more autonomous. She has dropped "we" from her vocabulary in favor of "I." Moreover, she does more things on her own and stops consulting you about future plans. In short, she conducts herself in ways that hint that she no longer needs you to hold her hand.  

She has no interest in sex with you: When your relationship was new, the two of your were full of passion and open to spontaneous lovemaking. Now it's all a bit sketchy. On a slightly more ego-bashing note, she may suddenly become bored by your performance and appear to be thinking about someone else when you do make love. Cheating may be wrong, but you can't deny that unlawful sex is usually more exhilarating. So, if you can no longer satisfy her sexually, someone else may be rubbing her the right way.

You become irrelevant:  You ask what could be worse than a girlfriend who nags you about absolutely everything? How about one who stops noticing that you're even alive? All at once, she doesn't care if you don't want to go to the movies with her; she'll just find somebody else with whom to go. And whatever opinion you may have, be it about how she looks or how you're feeling, is met with a tepid response. In other words, she doesn't place the same importance on what you think  and what you do as she once did, especially on things that directly affect the relationship

she has a mysterious friend : A telltale sign that your woman is cheating arises when a mysterious friend inches his or her way into the picture. Whether it's someone she claims is a coworker or an old friend from way back, she keeps this friendship under wraps and is hesitant to share any general details about him, much less introduce you.  keep in mind that she could also have a mysterious girl friend who is giving her bad advise. bad advise most times is taking out of what you said or did. so be careful ,treat you woman right and fill those gaps.

She avoids simple questions:  You should be suspicious of your girl friend when she refuses to answer the simplest and fairest of questions or answers questions only after repeating them back to you, which usually indicates a mind that's searching for a lie. Be wary of times when ,rather than reveal whats been up with her, If she gets defensive about disclosing information that she used to volunteer without hesitation, she may be hiding something or someone and it's one of the surest things shes cheating on you. 


 Major outbrust for no reason: Gone are the days when the two of you could communicate with harmonious precision. Now,every sentiment you express sets her off and she finds any excuse to lash out at you.

 she shifts priorities away from you: If she is involved in a hot and heavy romance with someone else, you'll definitely feel a shift in her daily priorities. suddenly, there are no more implied dates at the movies or something always comes up when you need her. Why the change?well may be shes getting the vibe that says your not making her a priority so therefore she has no reason to make you one. It could also be may be you are not satisfying her. But whatever the case, talk to her and let her open up.   

Picture Perfect

Girl take a chill pill, Lets get that thought that men dont contribute in a relationship.
Question: Do you think you are the only one who does everything to look gud, just impress your partner? what do you think all that gyming and juicing is all about? Learn to be more appreciative ladies, be patience and listen. Good men deserve credit...They provide, they work out, they listen, they motivate and comfort(the nice ones),  When they are in love with you, they treat you special,when they are good,they are are good.  Apperication is like going to a candy store as a kid. Its an amazing feeling to be in love and to be in a healthy relationship.
 Hidden secret ~Guys are the ones with the fagile heart. Thinking about it..May be the idea of having so many is a sort of defence menchanism,a wall created to protect their hearts or may be its all a disguise so that it isnt so obvious how easily their hearts can be broken...Note am not defending heart breakers. You should know after a break up is alot easier for a girl to have tissue paper, friends over to cry on and she moves on where as for a guy its not that easy. Hard to believe right?well its far from tissue paper for men,they cry inside, it harder to tell his feiends coz some might go like "we told you so! a guy might find it hard to cope at work and we all know ladies, guys need to focus to provide.
So sometimes just cut them some slack.

Relating to the society

Respect; Recognize that few people will respect you unless you insist. If you don't respect yourself, you're giving others the go-ahead to treat you like dirt.
Stand up and insist that you be treated with dignity, the way all human beings should be treated.And when it boils down to a personal relationship with you partner, especailly for the women who let things ride.. allowing a guy to walk all over you is the worst disrespect in the world.

Personal Relationship with God

Dear posh bloggers,
 If you belong to a faith, getting to know God through a personal relationship with him is the most rewarding thing one can do... so today trust and believe that God loves you.
Be in an attitude of prayer and thankfulness while praising God at all times.

 I need answers..why am i not married?how do i start over?is this marriage really over?these are some questions that God is best to answer. Therefore commit your ways to the lord, trust him to guide your path, and walk therein.
Seek for things to happen in God's way and time, not yours. Get started, be patient to learn and know that His always there!

Taking back the Keys to Your Heart.

Too touchy and No balls, bad mix!..Some girls are just too touchy and some guys might not have the balls to breakup, so these type of guys will just allow the girl firgure it out on her own. The ones that are nice will leave clear signs.
To some men this is the best way out. why? may be you have been too nice( too much of anything is bad)and again, they can go back for pity sex if need be... thats when you hear lines like " I didnt break up with you, you did" and with that little sign of hope, she gives it up. The yoruba's say "once debe always debe".
ITS OVER! You dont  need BILLBOARD.
 Don't beg. He broke up with you. He's already made up his mind. No matter how shocked, panicked, and in pain you are, don't beg him for another chance. It's very hard to do, but try hard not to cry too much - of course, it may be impossible not to cry. But crying a little, then saying, "I'm so sad about this, but if that's your decision, I have no choice but to accept it," is much more dignified than screaming, "No, don't leave me! I'll do anything you want me to!!"

Gather your supporters. Now is the time you need your friends and family. They will hopefully come flying to your side to comfort and keep you company while you nurse your broken heart back to health. Don't try to go it alone , its too heavy.

Recognize when it's no use trying to talk to him any more. He may keep calling you, trying to let you down easy, saying he still cares about you, or many other things. But he still won't commit himself fully to you, doesn't really want to be your boyfriend any more, etc. Let him go, girl. It's no use. His attempts to communicate with you after the fact are not about lingering feelings he has for you - it's all about him. He's trying to not be seen as a bad guy, but the reality is, he's done with your relationship and moving on.

Never let her see you sweat. Once the big breakup is over with, don't keep on letting her get to you. Even if you don't feel like it, go get dressed up and go out with your friends. You don't have to get drunk, or misbehave.. just to go and hang with pals and have great time.Try to avoid going to places where you will be likely to run into each other. If you do see her while you're out, just smile and nod. its not war.

Review the relationship. There's a good chance that now that he or she gone, you can look back and realize there may have been warning signs about this guy. Reviewing the relationship and recognizing where the problems began can be valuable in later relationships - they can clue you in to danger signals in new men, or let you have a chance to adjust your own behaviors, if you really believe you had some fault.
                                                                                                   Goodluck posh blogger..



NB;When you notice the change, Your guts says its over but You pretend,assume and drag on. having the talk(communicating) might have helped in the beginning but waiting till the end..thats crashing. keep in mind that when the human mind, just let it go.

Whose into who?

HIS INTO YOU..
#Observe his eyes. Eye contact is a tell-tale sign of interest. Maintain direct eye contact and see if he does the same. If he does, this is a sign that he is comfortable around you.
# Self-conscious of his appearance and is anxious to be as attractive as possible.believe it or not when a man feels a connection with you, he wants to look his best and "show off" his best assets. See if he flexes his biceps to give the impression of more muscle tone or sucks in his stomach to give the impression of firm abs.
#Pay attention to any physical contact. Touching or grazing is a sign that a man is attracted to you. an open palm(openess and honesty) towards you is a sign that he wants to connect with you on a deeper level.
#Take note of how he positions his body. According to "Go Get Guys," a man is attracted to a woman if his body is always pointing  or leaning to the direction of the woman. If you lean away from a man and he responds by leaning closer, it is a sign that he is interested in you.

SHE IS INTO YOU..

#The first step is to listen for any questions she may ask about whether or not you have a girlfriend. This is very common thus if she likes you, she'll want to find out if you are available. If she's not interested, though, she probably won't. She may not necessarily ask you directly, but she may try to "tease it out"        
#Look for physical contact. If you notice her leaning towards you or touching body parts like lips,ears e.t.c...then she probably likes you.       

#Listen to hear if she's laughing at all your jokes -- even the bad ones no matter how funny you are, there is no way you are funny all the time. shes into you.
# Notice whether she's asking you questions. If she just wants to be friends, she won't be overly interested in finding out about your life, your job, your family or other things.

Its worth it!

Dear posh bloggers,
Relationships are where you really need to put the work in. They take time, patience, understanding, compassion and are often frustrating but ultimately rewarding; the adult equivalent of learning to read. lol... However accomplished we are in our careers or other essential life skills like driving or cooking, we’re all slightly clueless when it comes to relationships.

Believe me when i say, Your going to have to work for it just like any other good thing but ITS TOTALLY WORTH IT! I promise. Compromise is not easy for anyone. Anyone who has been single for some time is used to doing what they want. Then - BOOM -  you’re in a relationship and have to start thinking about what the other person wants and how they feel? So, yes, you both need to listen and you both need to adapt. The good news is, you get to spend time and have great sex with your hot, cool, best mate. What’s better than that?

When SORRY says a thousand words.

Dear posh bloggers

Ever wonder what happens when sorry is the hardest thing to say ,even though it may not be enough. You rather have everything you have built go down flames than to say sorry when your wrong. relationships work better when you learn to admit and correct yourself.

often times i myself wonder if its the FEAR of appearing weak to your partner. Pride and the difficulty to say sorry are two relevant concepts that make people to avoiding making amends.

so today.. .learn from your mistakes and make it work.

Rebound

some one walked up to me at the mall yesterday and said i know two people who started dating as a result of rebounded sex,it was all roses in the beginning but now they hardly see or talk and when they do, its just great sex and i love you repeatedly. My response was "Now you ask yourself if there is a problem in the relationship", well yes!its just what it is great sex and a greedy man...
Sex may get a man, but it won’t keep him and if you’re looking for the rebound guy to fill a void before you’ve healed from a previous relationship. Rebound sex may only make you feel worse than you felt before. relationship is much more than what happens under the sheets.  

Your sweet nothing. "Pietas"

He was nothing to her but a way to pass time. after so long she decided to sleep with him out of pity. shes'd slept with him again a few times after that,but he stopped taking her out for pizza and movies. And then,just as she was starting to count on hearing his voice on the phone for she had gotten so comfortable.he faded out of her life.

KRYPTONITE

KRYPTONITE...Slowly kryps its way deep into you skin, you see the signs but you turn a blind eye.Then it becomes a stuggle for control from the outside when you really seek to fight the inside. The state of helplessness, the poisonous,yet sweet taste of what you once called love. 

According to urban dictionary;
A man/woman that calls someone their Kryptonite means that they are their weakness. Someone or something they have to stay away from because they want it even though it's not good for them or will hurt them.
Someone you want but can't have can be called your Kryptonite.

Scary all year long

come and go,back and forth, its all a merry go round. next month christmas,last week halloween.
tricks turned to tricks
now we know
halloween last for one night
but the truly scary is losing the one you love,
now thats for a life.

point; look for the love that burns for a life time, a preson who will love you when your bones become weak and your old and grey.

Dear Posh bloggers,
call it intuition but did you know thst its the little things that give us away when one is been unfaithful to their patners... it could be because of a sudden change in the way you do things.
what do you think?

when is the right time to have sex?some people say the first date so as to get pass that thought of what it would be like ...I say, the slower the better....
The main point of contention in the debate over when you should get intimate in a relationship generally boils down to whether it’s better to find out if you are sexually “compatible” as early as possible, or whether holding off on sex might uniquely strengthen the relationship.
 Why take it slow?take a second and imagine a movie that just started with little or no introduction of the cast and seconds later it says the end with a scene of a man and woman who bumped into each other and kissed. it makes no meaning right?
 my point is, its harder to fit into the narrative of your relationship when there isnt much to the story of how you became a couple.no meaning,confusion,no history or any idea what lead to that very moment, in this case the kiss. so my dear poshbloggers, make your story one to be heard and a relationship to be desire.

Your relationship with God is very important. Go closer to him,his always got your back!

One of the scariest things is losing the one you love to sometime really stupid. Something that shouldn't  have been a problem in the first place.... Communicate!